The Defiance novel

---- "That I fell out of love", I whispered gritting my teeth at the memory. "why?" "Because" "Tam asking you why", Maxx, always the psychologist that he was. He took his course when we were in college. He has this weird fascination on the human fucking mind he said. And he tests it to me from time to time. "Just because" "Is it the truth?", Maxx asked, sitting on one of stools facing me. I glared at the floor. I almost got dizzy shaking my head to say no. it wasn't the truth.

Inever fell out of love of her. Never. But for he did. "Just tell her the truth, man. Nothing's gonna happen if you're not going to tell her your story" "She'll never understand . She would be hurt again. Because of me again" "She's hurting now. What's the difference ?", he was slow in telling me how he sees the situation like I was some kid who was not capable of understanding it all ---- very well. Ichuckled, dropping my butt on the cold floor, bending my knees up to rest my elbows on them.

My head slumped tiredly on my hands. "He's dead", Maxx stated, "Seth's dead" Seth's dead. Seth's dead. It rang on my mind for a hundred of times like before. He's dead. My brother's dead. And I am not him though I lived my life like him. "Sev", my name came from my friend's lips. It's been so long since someone called me by that name. My real name. The name that died along with my twin brother. Severino Esguerra. The man who fell in love with Alice.

I was the first one to fall for her, but I had to leave the town where Seth fill out the space I left. It had been a secret and no one found out except for my family and few friends. And before I could return to her after the year I left, Seth made a move on her without my knowledge. Apparently , my twin brother became attracted to her just like I did and Alice assumed I was him when I left ---- because it was what we made them believed. It hurt like hell.

Seeing them happy and Alice not knowing my existence. And then came, as I've known Seth, he cheated on his girl with other girls. 1 was so mad that I beat him to pulp. Eventually, Seth fell out of love for her. He left her. Without any closure. Without any good bye. Without hesitation. Without any trace. Without anything. I had so much in my hands and my brother , too.

We grew apart from then but on his last moments, he told me that one of his biggest regrets in life was leaving Alice just like that. He even regretted hurting her. But most of all, knowing that I love the girl and he chased her. He betrayed me. He even admitted that it was not his intention to fall out of love for her. It just happened. ---- He died. He was killed and until now, I was hunting down those bastards. "T want to tell her", I whispered quietly. "Then tell her" I was scared.

Imagining her crying again kills me. But on the other side of me, I've wanted her to call me by my name. I've wanted to hear it from her with different emotions and expressions . With her different tones. I've wanted it. I've dreamt of it.