The Defiance novel

---- My heart hurt. Like it was burning inside of me, not with anything good but with everything that could swallow me into darkness. And I would gladly let myself sink into it if only that was the way to make her feel better. "Shhhh..." "T can't feel them, Sev" The joy that I should've felt after hearing my own name from her lips, the one thing I have been waiting for only God knows since when, her situation prevented me from savouring it. I couldn't let myself take pleasure on it.

She was more important than my own happiness. I knew I couldn't be happy when she's not. She sobbed so hard that her breathing became a hard task to maintain. "Breathe, Alice. Please, I need you to breathe, baby", I cooed. Without bothering to distance myself from her body, I pushed myself to reach for the alarm to call for Kurt. It was the first time I needed it. I was desperate because I know I had no power over this.

No matter how much I've wanted to do everything for her, I finally understood that I needed some people to help me with this. My pride had no place for this. If I want to save her, I have to accept the fact that there are things I fail to give her and fail to do for her. I was still holding her tight when I heard the door open. Kurt went in with Dean. ---- "Alice", Dean called her name and Alice respond to him instantly by pushing me away and I let her.

With another fresh cry from her, she reached for her brother and clung onto him tighter. I've felt jealous. Not because she loves him truly which I could see clearly , I knew this was a family thing but then I've always wanted to be someone she could rely on. Someone she could hold on when things get rough. I've always wanted her to depend on me. "Dean", I was out of his own thoughts when I heard Alice sobbed harder but then her consciousness slowly faded.

In panic, I moved fast to close their distance again shoving Dean out of my way who only let me hold Alice on the gentlest way possible. "What happened to her?", I cleared her face from her silky hair messily curtaining her. "She's fine. I just had to calm her down. She's being hysterical, it's a psychological thing after a traumatic experience ', Kurt explained holding a syringe. The notion of the needle piercing her skin was awful but I trust Kurt. He knew what he was doing.

I gently laid her back on the bed. "She said she can't feel her legs. She can't move them ", I didn't bother hiding my concern for her. "Thave to run some tests to know what could be the problem. Like her hysterics, it could be another ---- psychological trauma", my attention focused on her battered skin turning my fists and my whole body ready for war. "Are we ready?", though I didn't want to leave Alice's side, I had to. I've wanted to kill Ralph Clemente as soon as possible.

I won't do torture 'cause I honestly didn't want him breathing anymore. I've wanted him gone as fast as probable. My question was directed to Maxx whom I sensed entered the room, too. When Chamomile exclaimed she found where the bastard is, I couldn't calm down. My body was itching for his blood. For his death. We planned everything. I didn't want to be risky for going to war unprepared. I've wanted a sure win. "Everything's been settled", Maxx assured.

I leaned in to kiss her forehead not minding Dean's glaring presence. I turned to the door reciting the ways I knew to kill Ralph when I see him.