The Defiance novel

---- Chapter 22: When I See Him Sev's POV With the wet towel on my hand and her hand on the other, I gently wiped her skin. I tried to concentrate to what I was doing and watched her skin graze mine but my mind couldn't cooperate . It loved replaying what happened . From the moment I saw her on the bed all tied up and crying that it broke my whole being. It felt like dying and I couldn't breathe. It was like seeing the whole collapsed in front of me.

How could someone just trash the person I took care of all these years? Sev. The way she called my name, not my twin's name, gave shivers down to me. Was I hallucinating? Did my desire for that particular moment finally caught up with me? Or did my mind desire it so much that I started to hear the unreal? What if it was true? My fingers automatically reached on her forehead when they crumpled like wasted paper. She must be having another nightmare.

It was torture to just stare at her and know I couldn't do anything for her. I don't pray. But then, for the first time since I could remember, I prayed every now and then. For her. For the times, I sat here holding her hands, all I did was ---- pray she would be fine. "-ev'", [woke from my misery and eyes flew instantly to hers. There was a slit opening where I could see her eyes. Those eyes I've missed. My heart almost stopped at the sight of her.

It hurt a million times from the happiness and relief. "Hey", my voice almost broke and even I was surprised at the softness it gave. I leaned closer to her. "§-Sev", she started crying which broke me more than my voice. "Shhhhh..", embracing her and all that she was ready to throw right at me, I tried to ease her though as was sure, I was more of a wreck than here. I almost couldn't find a way how to breathe properly since every time I tried to, it hurt even more.

Her hands crawled at the side of me until they were tightly gripping me around. "Iwas so scared. Am I...", she's still shattering. Shaking. "Am I alive?" "Of course, honey. You're okay. You're alive", I pushed her as gentle as I could to cup her face on my trembling hands. I leaned down and kissed her lips. "You've felt that?", my thumb caressed her lower lip. That was one of the things I've seen Herschel read on his books and I found it stupid.

Nothing but the stupid sweet stuff but now, I've found it appropriate and ---- realize the importance of it. But she did not answer my question instead; she pushed me on my chest to give ourselves some distance. Her eyes became frantic. They landed on her legs covered on white sheets. "Hey. What are you doing?", I followed her line of sight. With quivering fists, she began to pound her legs. I caught her arms. "T-I c-can't...", her tears freely flowed from her.

My eyes widened when I figured what she was trying to say. "I-I can't feel both of my legs?", Alice asked me with tears in her eyes. Her voice was cracking and she looked so broken. Her appearance and the look she gave me made me lose my hold on her. She took that chance to free her arms from my hands. "Why?" She threw the sheets hugging her legs and began to slowly slap them mercilessly. Slaps turned to punches.

She was hurting herself and I couldn't bear to watch her do that to herself so I leaned closer if it was possible to get closer to her then I did and kneeled on her bed beside her. I caught her hands in mine making sure not to give her another chance and slip of amoment to push me away. She was struggling. But I kissed them.