Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- "Huh?" "Do you have any secrets , anything you want to tell me, anything that happened during those years?" Ashly looks up at Alex, who is smiling at her. "Do you have Ashly?" Ashly smiled and shook her head. "No, I don't have any; I am still the same, as you see; nothing new happened". 'Nothing new happened , Alex; I just delivered your baby, and I was trying to find you and crying my eyes out when your brother called me.

And God knows how many times I change the topic when our son asks about you". Nothing happened, Alex. Nothing... In Alex's Dream: He's looking down at his feet. He's wearing white sneakers. He's walking on gray asphalt. Rain starts to fall, small drops turning the asphalt black, and his steps gradually grow larger. He's running, rain pelting on his shoes and on the ground beneath him, soaking him from head to toe. Son, I must tell you something. I'm getting divorced ---- from your father.

Son, I can't choose you; please live with your father. What MAMMA? Alex, I kind of miss you. When are you coming back? Alex, I tried to find you; where are you, Alex? Please come back. I need you, Alex. As he sprints down the road, the rain makes squishing noises under his feet. His eyes are closed, the cold, abrasive water whips at his skin, and his lungs are gradually giving out as his breath leaves them in jerks. He can't run anymore -not away, not towards where he wants to be.

Not back, either. He can only stay there. He stills, bends down, his hands pressed against his knees, gasping for breath that's all water in his mouth, eyes, and nose-a feeling once buoyant, now suffocating. He's swaying with exertion, with every piece of pressure threatening to drown him. It's all on him, and it's crushing him bit by bit, a little more every day. There's a large body of water, a pool, and he jumps. His screams won't ever be heard below.

He wakes abruptly, sucking in urgent breaths, his mouth feeling full of water, panic surging through his ---- entire body, shaking and sweating, his hands touching his mouth and throat with exigency, finally comprehending that there is none anywhere and he can breathe freely. Alex's eyes close as the abundance of onerous emotions falls off of him, relief washing over him instead. He blinks them open again, wipes the sleep from them, and glances around to remember where heis.

It's their bedroom , and he's lying in bed next to his mate. He feels so light suddenly that he could cry, turning his body towards him immediately , seeking Ashly's solid physical presence and needing to touch, hold, and smell her. He takes deep breaths, his face in the back of Ashly's neck, his arm flung around her, focusing on her soft sleeping sounds, steadily calming himself, drifting back into unconsciousness. He's so tired, he can't sleep.

He's forgotten when he did it last time, but it must have been a few days. Everything is muddled, hazy, and a blur. Hospital rooms, waiting rooms, nurses, doctors, worried faces, crying faces, looking to him for help Office rooms, with serious , weary faces, look at him for guidance and answers. He must have them, right? He must know what to do.

English business study books occupy his bed; his ---- business phone keeps ringing; his private one is not forgotten but neglected; the thought of his hometown sometimes paralyzes him, choking him; knowing what and who he left behind, he is unable to bear it; he is unable to function when he allows himself to miss her, want her, and run to her. He mustn't. So he doesn't touch the phone for another day or two, and his emails are still unanswered. He's so confused, so tired, and so afraid.

But he must soldier on. Just for awhile longer. He can do it. Just a couple of hours of sleep. Then he can do it. Abroken phone, a father's harsh voice, and fear turned into reality, tightening his chest until he was shaking and burning. He lost the one who was never going to be his, even when the world turned upside down and fooled him, gave him unbound happiness , and gave him a love he thought he didn't deserve but was his against all odds.

Ironically , he returned with a new task nonetheless . Become worthy. Become someone great who's able to stand by your little mate's side as an equal. Can he? He doesn't have a choice. How else will he endure the agony, the loneliness, the guilt, the helplessness, and the heartache? He won't. He doesn't have a choice. Angry? There's only hatred. You betrayed me.