Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- lives together. Yet you didn't come. Not after three months. Not after six months or a year. I came to see you. It was a last - ditch effort to prove to myself that you still wanted me. That you still loved me. circumstances beyond either of our control were keeping us apart. All the scenarios running around in my head were lies. It was meant to be a surprise. It was supposed to be a moment for us to reconnect and talk about the things we just couldn't do through text or email.

It was meant to shorten the ever-lengthening tie between us. You were with your friends. Busy with them, you introduce me as your friend. Seriously , baby, just a friend? Do they make you happy? Were they easier to pursue? Easier, please? You could have told me. If that were what you wanted, I could have learned to accept that we couldn't be together. I would have understood. Why couldn't you have just told me? Was I too much of an embarrassment?

A piece of your life you'd rather forget back in your hometown ? A schoolboy crush? Did you even tell them about me, about your mate? I was willing to give you forever. To stay by your side no matter what. I knew the world would try to beat us down. Would not let us live easy, but at least we'd be together. I thought I could do anything and face anything, as long as you were by my side. ---- It turns out forever wasn't very long after all. What woke me up from this dream?

I didn't have the courage. Taking this regret Walking away was the hardest thing I ever did. I didn't confront you. I didn't lash out and demand answers or make a scene. Maybe I should have. Maybe I would have had closure. To have at least heard it from your own lips that we were over. Part of me doesn't want closure. The pain reminds me to trust no one. I thought I had learned that lesson long ago. My uncle made it abundantly clear that people only wanted me for what I could offer them.

For what I could do for them. Endless lectures on how everyone would only see me as a bank I thought you were different , and maybe you were in the beginning . Yet in the end, you still left me. I was unable to get what you wanted from me. I understand now. I get that your definition of forever is different from mine. I can't ever go back, so maybe it's good that you're so far away. I don't think I could handle seeing you again.

Seeing you with them Seeing you when I can't be right beside you I don't know if I'd be strong enough to walk away if you were right in front of me. I'd want to run to you. To wrap my arms around you. ---- To press gentle kisses to your lips. It is good that you aren't here. I am not strong enough to face you yet. I don't know if I ever will be. Our friends -are they still ours, or are they just mine or yours? I don't know how this works. I guess it doesn't really matter.

Our friends say I'll heal with time. I don't think I want to, though. The loss of you will remind me that no one can be trusted. I am only good for others to use. To take what they want and leave. I thought maybe you were different. I thought you understood how much I was risking by trusting you with my heart. I thought you knew. You were beside me every step of the way, and yet you didn't see? I didn't see that the heart you wanted to claim was broken.

I had been abused and ignored by so many that I could not let it go. I needed to keep it close to me. Yet you promised me forever, and I believed you. I trusted you forever. I sent my heart with you to your dream. I hoped it would bring you back to me quickly. I didn't feel it when you broke it for good. Not at first in any way. Not until I saw the proof. I felt the pieces scrape and tear as I reclaimed them. I knew then, and all I could do was walk away. I will never go back into your arms. But I can't stop thinking about The time when we were us