Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- Sam's hands are hard on her but with flawed precision , so Monika doesn't even bother with their shirts and buttons; she just reaches for their zippers. There's no finesse because it isn't needed. They come together in some bare touches and slide against each other with heat and intent and a choked push, scrambling, reaching: To free yourself off it all, even if only for a moment.

A searing surge of tighter grip pulled her onto and into you, pushing fingertips and nails in hard enough to be felt by drunk-numbed nerves. Before your strength flows out. Hearts and gasps so loudly in the sudden silence. Sam weighs on Monika, which is different. Is welcome, a change, and devastation , with Monika's mind clearing as much as it will. She's not alone.

This wasn't just getting off, getting that strain out of your system, like she has used it times and times before, with the dreaded emptiness rolling in once the tension's rolled out, and that hope for sleep to cut it short at least. She's not alone now. The connection holds, and maybe that's what makes her want to cry even more.

The weight on top of her, ---- the body heat, the presence, the broken open breaths, and the shivers Monika fears the tears are just about to come in again, to fill up those spaces in her lungs that her breath has pushed loose for a short, suspended moment. But for some long minutes, the tears don't come, and the connection holds. wavering, painful, and loaded. She is not alone. When Sam breathes even out, Monika carefully works herself out from under him.

Sam stirs and starts to struggle out of his jacket. "Sam, do you need water or anything?" She doesn't get more than a sound and a headshake. Sam has gone to that peculiar alcohol -induced half- sleep after that final bout of exertion, stripping sluggishly out of his clothes but not hurting himself at all. It's a sobering reminder for Monika. Sam needs to be alone. Needs distance and detachment. To sort himself out some.

She leaves Sam to himself, locks the door of her room behind her, and sits on the bed for a long while, her elbows and wrists shaky, where Sam holds her up. It doesn't matter how much Monika tries; their relationship is over. Nothing was left between them.