Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- Alex jolts up and backward this time, panting and staring ahead, his sight blurry with tears he hasn't realized he's shedding. "Alex? What's wrong?" A hand finds his upper arm, and Alex blinks, startled and confused, finally able to squeeze the liquid from his eyes to focus. Ashly is sitting before him, her face sorrow-stricken and startled.

Alex wipes his face, takes a few deep breaths , drops his hand, and bends his upper body forward, his arms closing around Ashly's middle, his cheek pressed against Ashly's chest. Ashly's heartbeat is loud and quick in Alex's ears, almost like his own. Alex just needs a moment. He's feeling dizzy and in disarray. Ashly pats and strokes his shoulder and neck, an arm around Alex's head, gently giving comfort and letting him be.

"Do you feel better now?" Ashly's soft voice snaps Alex out of his daze, leaving his mind feeling foggy and far away. He blinks and moves back slowly , a frown on his brow as he meets Ashly's intent gaze. He notices the light being on because he can see her properly. Sleepy, mussed hair, deep brown eyes, flushed skin But the remnants of his dreams are heavy in his ---- bones, having a fierce hold on his mind, and, for a moment, he can't trust this or himself. "Are you here?

Are you real?" Alex reaches out a hand to touch her, half scared he'll find only air, the memory of another old dream rushing over him. He was in another country, sick from exhaustion, having a fever dream, maybe even an illusion, of Ashly lying next to him, smiling, forgiving him, and he reached out to touch her, tears running down his face, but he could grasp only air and the empty pillow. He trembled with broken screams, silent in despair.

Ashly catches his hand, taking it into both of her hands, and nods. "I'm here, and I'm real. What did you dream of?" Alex holds his breath for a second, lets it go with the tension, alleviating his mind and body, and averts his eyes downward. "Of a time without you. A long, really hard time," he finally says, unfurling the tight knots in his chest and glancing up at his love again.

"You'll never be without me again." Ashly tenderly pulls him closer , embracing him, his lips brushing Ashly's neck and ear, his fingers carding through his hair. "It's alright, just wake me whenever you have a dream like this; I'll show you it's not real anymore," ---- Ashly whispers, giving Alex peace enough to let himself fall, trusting in Ashly completely. He shuts his eyes, aware only of Ashly's scent, touches, and sounds.

They lie down together, keeping close, quiet, and safe, Ashly's fingers caressing Alex's face with tender care, Alex's hands curled in Ashly's back. "We might always regret not confronting each other when I was in Europe or when you came back and met my father. It seems so stupid now that we just let each other go like this. Not even stupid, but you know, I'm not sure how to say it.

I try not to think of it anymore because it hurts too much, but being here now, with you," Alex halts and finds Ashly's right hand, holding it up between them so Alex can look at it, too, at the ring on his finger. I'm getting with you in a few weeks. That's what I think of when the past haunts me. The future I have with you is something no one can take away from us, especially not ourselves, because we know the mistakes we made and we won't repeat them.

Just look at your ring, and you'll know it's true, and it won't hurt forever. The past can't take me from you. Ashly kisses his fingers, and the fresh tears from his cheeks flow as Alex stares at their hands. Ashly's words envelop the pain inside him, mending it and rendering it powerless.