Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- still has a hearty smile on his face, people who know him can still see that the wound in his heart is still bleeding. Whenever the night is quiet, Sam always remembers the sweet time between the two. The two people in the photo of Sam's mobile phone still smile so sweetly and brightly. Jennie, do you know? This is the 300th day I miss you. We were really happy at that time, 300 days ago.

But I know you are tired; you are tired and tired, so Iam willing to forgive you and let you sleep well. If I wait until the 20th day of your departure and still can't forget you, Jennie, would you come to pick me up? Later, Sam went to Jennie's favorite quietly by himself , and then there was no news from then on. That was the 75th day Jennie had left. Sam was depressed because his friend died; he even forgot about Monika. Monika is watching a car crash in slow motion.

Her overwhelmed mind tries and tricks her into the detached safety of a spectator , but still she is utterly unable to leave, something beyond her consciousness anchoring her inside here. "She dies because she knows about us; she sees us when we go to the forest. And she knows if fans know, they will call her a bitch who wants to come between ---- us. She took her life because you came to meet me here. Why did you do this, Monika? Why can't you just fucking wait for me to come back".

That's what Sam told her when Monika tried to console him. After that, Monika stopped saying anything and stopped complaining. Sam's fingers on Monika's face push warmth into her with all the wrong pulses. Her bones, knees, and elbows are hard where they frame, drive into her, and fall. The inside of Sam's mouth is a shock of heat.

Sam's struggle seems to finally force a way out into action and movement, and maybe, strangely, for that very reason, Monika finds she turns her own inward, just this time. Her hands stopped shoving back. Yet inside , Monika is clashing , dark, empathic , and hurting. And she won't deny that the painful way their fronts and lips meet actually feels like the perfect shape for their emotions, for what both of them seem made up of right now.

Because everything about Sam, too, radiates the same anger and hurt, longing and betrayal and guilt, and it falls into shape and place, their bodies pouring, acting out what has never found a proper channel all this time. It's mind -boggling to see Sam be her mirror in this, ---- to see Sam like this, confusing and angering, angered and confused. Monika is watching a car crash in slow motion.

Her overwhelmed mind tries and tricks her into the detached safety of a spectator , but still she is utterly unable to leave, something beyond her consciousness anchoring her inside here. All of what has been so scattered between them now- fractured pieces, prickly and piercing and cutting nerves as their bodies collide-has histories and past years below, just skin deep. And why should she have to be a better person?

She's not above giving in to the pull of those emotions, to follow and try if this might be the thing to finally drive them out for good, to get over years of feeling stretched too thin. Can't this be a punishment as well? To let Sam have this broken scene, to just let herself be tossed in the storm of it, and blame her for doing this? Their bodies shout with the muscle memories of pushed back hurt, buried deep inside tension, held in for too long.

Springing free in jumpy jittery movements, touches, and shoves, she was dazed with anumbness of too much. Of alcohol, shock, and sensory overload. And how can their breaths shaking out of them still ---- feel alike , echoes , and answers to each other? When will their pain and guilt be the same again? And surely it is all just noise, Sam loud, loud feelings, and they drown out Monik, yet they resonate, and it must be another trick of the mind for the sheer need for connection.

Because it all slots together as it's falling apart, and this is the thing that threads through it all, drawn. tight and strangling and prevailing through the confusing ebb and overflow of emotions. The need. To collide. Connect. To make contact , use any way that can get through. It's the only thing Monika can tell apart in that jumble of what they've become. And he allows it. She can't hate herself for it either, when Sam under her touch is so warm and alive.

It's so desperate, she can't look it in the eye and can't look away. But doesn't passion, in many languages , have an underlying meaning of pain and suffering ? Monika just knows this must lead to some kind of relief because it can't be allowed to implode. She needs their bodies to teach their minds. He knows that Sam needs it, needs something, and that shouldn't matter to him after everything , but it does. She wants that release, too.