Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- Sam curses himself, fresh tears blooming in his eyes. He shuts his eyes tightly, wrapping his arms around Monika. He hears Monika sigh and catches her wiping her tears away from the corner of her eye, racked with pain coursing through her. Monika is quiet again, unmoving, her voice torn with sadness as she speaks. "I can't bear your guilt, or my own; it's too much. We're both at fault, as are external forces. Both of us suffered so much...

I had no idea about your fears and the pressure you must have felt about your mom and the company. I shouldn't have given up on you, but I was so sure you had given up on me, and I couldn't bear it, and I forced myself to move on and pretend all kinds of things that never worked out because I just couldn't do it, and I couldn't forgive you or feel indifferent... I could only...

I was only hurting and so angry, and the moment I saw you, it just" "Exploded." Sam whispers, for once completely understanding Monika's anguish and what it made her do. He feels Monika nod on his chest. "Yeah.

I never wanted to hurt you, but I wanted you to hurt, like me, and I wanted to punish that distorted image of you that was real to me then-the horrible bastard who made me trust him and believe him when he said he ---- wanted to spend his life with me but abandoned me instead , without even telling me. I know nothing of that is true now, but I just couldn't cope, and I couldn't even totally hate you. Though I tried my best, somehow I always hated myself more.

I'm so sorry." She's crying harder, and Sam's heart splits open, threatening to bleed out. "Monika..." He can't speak, his throat tightening with unscathed compassion and grief from years of misery that should never have been theirs to uphold. Monika's damp, warm lips snap him out of the overwrought torpidity he sank into, his eyes blinking, unable to focus on Monika's face, too close over his own.

He shuts them instead, concentrating on her lips, their softness , the way they linger on her cheek, the corner of her mouth, her nose, and between her eyebrows. He can smell Monika's tears, hear the faint shiver in her breaths , and feel her heartbeat in her chest. He lets his outstretched hands slowly rise on Monika's back, gently kneading into muscles and softer flesh, just feeling and being felt.

Monika rubs her nose gently against Sam, her fingers alittle cold against the sides of Sam's neck, pulsing. Sam stroking the small of Monika back, her t-shirt hiking up, tiny goosebumps under Sam's fingertips . ---- He's tracing the shell of Monik's ear, gingerly feeling the shape of her hoop earring and softly rubbing her earlobe , causing more goosebumps along Monika's neck.

Sam enfolds her body, turns them, and becomes a solid, grounding weight on top of Monika, her arms flung around Sam's neck, their gazes fixed, emotions unchained, coalescing. Every move is placid, careful, and slow.

The press of lips, sliding, tongues melding, deliberate, sinuous Monika fingers slide across Sam's shoulder blades , dragging, gently prodding, and happily receiving his shudders, his hands taking up the Monika shirt at his sides, riddling her with the tingles she's trying to squirm from. Feeling Sam smile, he kisses her from one corner of her mouth to the other, opening his eyes. He's met by beautiful, deep, dark oceans, watching her wondrous, beloved, and enticing her.

Monika wants skin on skin, patting Sam's hip and tugging on his shirt. Sam moves up immediately, careful not to hurt her, watching each other undress. Monika's eagerness to get right back under him, pulling on her arms to make her lie down again, makes her grin, filling all the hollow spaces in her