Alpha’s Badass Mate novel

---- Happy after Sam cries with her, quieter, needing to spend comfort more than to receive it, his chest leaden with soreness, and he is constricted, but surprised, to find the beast slithered back to where it came from, letting him breathe a little easier. Monika has been quiet for a few minutes, but Sam just strokes her hair and back, giving her space.

"Did you draw them because you couldn't talk to anyone?" Sam feels a surge of cold rippling down his spine, even though it's almost too warm inside, with the sun streaming in through the windows. "Yes. I'm bad at writing and talking about how I feel, so I draw." He inhales Monika again, taking comfort and strength, reminding himself that he has no reason to keep hurting in silence. "You're not bad at it. When you do, you're not.

You just have to do it more." Monika moves back, forcing Sam to open his arms, his head moving up, following Monika standing. She offers a hand to Sam. "It's uncomfortable here; let's get into bed." Sam smiles softly, grabs onto her hand, and lets ---- himself be pulled. Onwards to their bedroom, Monika grips on him, not loosening.

They lie down facing each other, Monika gently pushing her leg between Sam's knees, her arm around his shoulder , and her fingers tugging on the hairs on Sam's nape, making his skin tingle. Sam's hand is curled on Monika's hip, his other arm angled up over their heads so he can play with Monika's hair. Just looking at each other, the turmoil inside them both tamed. "Does it ever scare you?" Monika starts alarming Sam, her body tensing involuntarily. She breathes through it.

"I mean, do we have such power over each other? What can we do for each other? If you ever left me agai -" Sam is quick to spring his hand from Monika's hip up to her face, his fingers silencing her. "Don't ever think of that. It won't ever happen, I promise you." He leans up on her elbow, his face closer and above Monika, begging her to vanquish such thoughts from her mind forever. The sudden anguish the thought alone evokes is excruciating.

He taps Monika's lips lightly, pushing past the choking sensation in her lungs. "It doesn't scare me. You've always had this power over me, even before I got to be with you. I got used to it, and part of me even ---- likes and wants it. I guess I'm a masochist." He smirks softly, watching the frown on Monika's forehead and feeling her snorting against his fingers. "You were always in front of me, in the light, and I was happy to be in your shadow." He shrugs faintly.

" It's just the truth, and whether it's twisted or shameful, I don't care. It's alright if it scares you, though; it's a big burde-"" His hand drops suddenly as Monika pushes forward, her upper body pressing down on Sam's chest and her hand firmly over Sam's mouth. Like before, it makes him want to laugh. "Sam." Her voice is scolding, and Sam is sure he wants to say more but holds back. "Tt doesn't scare me, either, not anymore. Not after..." She trails off, her gaze distant.

Sam unfurls his fingers from her mouth, watching her concerned. "Monika? Not after what?" Monika focuses on him again. "Not after what we've been through." Sam nods sadly, his sadness overwhelming him. "I should have been there for you; I should have tried harder." Monika suddenly started crying again, dropping her head on Sam's chest and shaking her shoulders.